I was always a little in awe of Great-aunt Stephina Roos. Indeed, as children we were all frankly terrified of her.

我對斯蒂菲娜老姑總是懷著敬畏之情。說實在話，我們幾個孩子對她都怕得要死。

The fact that she did not live with the family, preferring her tiny cottage and solitude to the comfortable but rather noisy household where we were brought up-added to the respectful fear in which she was held.

她不和家人一塊生活，寧愿住在她的小屋子里，而不愿住在舒舒服服、熱熱鬧鬧的家里--我們六個孩子都是在家里帶大的--這更加重了我們對她的敬畏之情。

We used to take it in turn to carry small delicacies which my mother had made down from the big house to the little cottage where Aunt Stephia and an old colored maid spent their days.

我們經(jīng)常輪替著從我們住的大房子里帶些母親為她做的可口的食品到她和一名黑人女仆一塊過活的那間小屋里去。

Old Tnate Sanna would open the door to the rather frightened little messenger and would usher him-or her - into the dark voor-kamer, where the shutters were always closed to keep out the heat and the flies. There we would wait, in trembling but not altogether unpleasant.

桑娜老姨總是為每一個上門來的怯生生的小使者打開房門，將他或她領進昏暗的客廳。那里的百葉窗長年關閉著，以防熱氣和蒼蠅進去。我們總是在那里哆哆嗦嗦、但又不是完全不高興地等著斯蒂菲娜老姑出來。

She was a tiny little woman to inspire so much veneration. She was always dressed in black, and her dark clothes melted into the shadows of the voor-kamer and made her look smaller than ever.

一個像她那樣身材纖細的女人居然能贏得我們如此尊敬。她總是身穿黑色衣服，與客廳里的陰暗背景融成一體，將她的身材襯托得更加嬌小。

But you felt. The moment she entered. That something vital and strong and somehow indestructible had come in with her, although she moved slowly, and her voice was sweet and soft.

但她一進門，我們就感到有一種說不清道不明、充滿活力和剛強的氣氛，盡管她的步子慢悠、聲調甜柔。

She never embraced us. She would greet us and take out hot little hands in her own beautiful cool one, with blue veins standing out on the back of it, as though the white skin were almost too delicate to contain them.

她從不擁抱我們，但總是和我們寒暄，將我們熱乎乎的小手握在她那雙秀美清爽的手里，她的手背上露出一些青筋，就像手上白嫩的皮膚細薄得遮不住它們似的。

Tante Sanna would bring in dishes of sweet, sweet, sticky candy, or a great bowl of grapes or peaches, and Great-aunt Stephina would converse gravely about happenings on the farm ,and, more rarely, of the outer world.

桑娜阿姨每次都要端出幾碟粘乎乎的南非糖果和一缽葡萄或桃子給我們吃。斯蒂菲娜老姑總是一本正經(jīng)他說些農場里的事，偶爾也談些外邊世界發(fā)生的事。

When we had finished our sweetmeats or fruit she would accompany us to the stoep, bidding us thank our mother for her gift and sending quaint, old-fashioned messages to her and the Father. Then she would turn and enter the house, closing the door behind, so that it became once more a place of mystery.

待我們吃完糖果或水果，她總要將我們送到屋前的門廊，叮囑我們要多謝母親給她送食品，要我們對父母親轉達一些稀奇古怪的老式祝愿，然后就轉身回到屋里，隨手關上門，使那里再次成為神秘世界。

As I grew older I found, rather to my surprise, that I had become genuinely fond of my aloof old great-aunt.

讓我感到吃驚的是，隨著我逐漸長大，我發(fā)現(xiàn)打心眼里喜歡起我那位孤伶伶的老姑姑來。

But to this day I do not know what strange impulse made me take George to see her and to tell her, before I had confided in another living soul, of our engagement. To my astonishment, she was delighted.

至今我仍不知道那是一種什么樣的奇異動力，使我在還沒有透露給別人之前就把喬治領去看望姑姑，告訴她我們已經(jīng)訂婚的消息。不成想，聽到這個消息以后，她竟非常高興。

"An Englishman,"she exclaimed."But that is splendid, splendid. And you,"she turned to George,"you are making your home in this country? You do not intend to return to England just yet?"

"是英國人！"她驚訝地大聲說道，"好極了。你，"她轉向喬治，"你要在南非安家嗎？你現(xiàn)在不打算回國吧？"

She seemed relieved when she heard that George had bought a farm near our own farm and intended to settle in South Africa. She became quite animated, and chattered away to him.

當她聽說喬治已經(jīng)在我們農場附近購置了一片農場并打算定居下來時，好像松了一口氣。她興致勃勃地和喬治攀談起來。

After that I would often slip away to the little cottage by the mealie lands. Once she was somewhat disappointed on hearing that we had decided to wait for two years before getting married, but when she learned that my father and mother were both pleased with the match she seemed reassured.

從那以后，我常常到那所位于玉米地邊的小屋。有一次，當斯蒂菲娜老姑聽說我們決定再過兩年結婚時，露出了失望的神色，但一聽說我的父母親都對這門親事滿意時，她又放寬了心。

Still, she often appeared anxious about my love affair, and would ask questions that seemed to me strange, almost as though she feared that something would happen to destroy my romance.

但她對我的婚姻大事還是經(jīng)常掛在嘴邊。她常常問一些怪怪的問題，幾乎像擔心我的婚事會告吹一樣。

But I was quite unprepared for her outburst when I mentioned that George thought of paying a lightning visit to England before we were married."He must not do it,"she cried."Ina, you must not let him go. Promise me you will prevent him."she was trembling all over.

當我提到喬治打算在婚前匆匆回一趟國時，她竟激動了起來。只見她渾身哆嗦著大聲嚷道："他不能回去！愛娜！你不能放他走，你得答應我不放他走！"

I did what I could to console her, but she looked so tired and pale that I persuaded her to go to her room and rest, promising to return the next day.

我盡力安慰她，但她還是顯得萎靡不振。我只得勸她回屋休息，并答應第二天再去看她。

When I arrived I found her sitting on the stoep. She looked lonely and pathetic, and for the first time I wondered why no man had ever taken her and looked after her and loved her.

我第二天去看她時，她正坐在屋前的門廊上，流露出抑郁孤寂的神情。我第一次感到納悶：以前怎么沒有人娶她、照料和愛撫她呢？記得母親曾經(jīng)說過，斯蒂菲娜老姑以前曾是一個楚楚可愛的小姑娘。

Mother had told me that Great-aunt Stephina had been lovely as a young girl, and although no trace of that beauty remained, except perhaps in her brown eyes, yet she looked so small and appealing that any man, one felt, would have wanted to protect her.

盡管除了她那褐色的眼睛尚能保留一點昔日的風韻之外，她的美貌早已蕩然無存。但她看上去還是那樣小巧玲瓏、惹人愛憐，引起男人們的惜香憐玉之情。

Then she seemed to give herself, mentally, a little shake. "You must have wondered ", she said, "why I was so upset at the thought of young George's going to England without you.

我走到她的跟前。她拍著身邊的椅子，淡淡一笑。"坐下吧，親愛的，"她說，"我有話要告訴你。"她欲言又止，好像不知道話從何說起似的。接著，她仿佛振作了起來。她說："我聽你說喬治要回國，又不帶你走，心里非常不安。我這份心事你是不明白的。

I am an old woman, and perhaps I have the silly fancies of the old, but I should like to tell you my own love story, and then you can decide whether it is wise for your man to leave you before you are married."

我是一個老婆子了，大概還懷著老人們的那顆癡心吧。不過，我想把自己的愛情故事講給你聽。這樣你就能明白在你們結婚之前讓你的未婚夫離開你，是不是一個明智之舉。"

"I was quite a young girl when I first met Richard Weston. He was an Englishman who boarded with the Van Rensburgs on the next farm, four or five miles from us.

"我第一次遇見理查德·威斯頓時還是一個年輕姑娘。他是一個英國人，寄宿在我家附近四、五英里一個農場上的范·倫斯堡家里。

Richard was not strong. He had a weak chest, and the doctors had sent him to South Africa so that the dry air could cure him. He taught the Van Rensburg children, who were younger than I was, though we often played together, but he did this for pleasure and not because he needed money.

他身體不好，胸悶氣短。醫(yī)生讓他去南非讓干燥的氣候治好他的病。他教倫斯堡的孩子們念書，他們都比我小，盡管我們經(jīng)常在一塊玩。理查德是以教書為樂，并不是為了賺錢。

"We loved one another from the first moment we met, though we did not speak of our love until the evening of my eighteenth birthday.

"我和理查德是一見鐘情，盡管直到我18歲生日那天我們才表示彼此的愛慕之情。

All our friends and relatives had come to my party, and in the evening we danced on the big old carpet which we had laid down in the barn. Richard had come with the Van Rensburgs, and we danced together as often as we dared, which was not very often, for my father hated the Uitlanders.

那天晚上的舞會上，我們的親友都來了。我們在倉房里鋪上一條寬大的舊毛毯，翩翩起舞。我和他壯起膽子頻頻起舞。但事實上，沒有多少次，因為我的父親很討厭'洋人'。

Indeed, for a time he had quarreled with Mynheer Van Rensburg for allowing Richard to board with him, but afterwards he got used to the idea, and was always polite to the Englishman, though he never liked him.

有一次，他曾抱怨說倫斯堡先生不應該讓理查德寄住在他的家里，為此還跟他吵過一場，他后來就習以為常了。雖談不上喜歡，但對這個英國人以禮相待。"

"That was the happiest birthday of my life, for while we were resting between dances Richard took me outside into the cool, moonlit night, and there, under the stars ,he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him.

"那是我一生中最快樂的一個生日，因為理查德在跳舞間歇將我領到外面清涼的月光中，在點點繁星之下對我傾訴愛慕之情，并向我求婚。我二話沒說答應了他的要求，因為我早已心醉神迷，想不到父母親會說什么。

Of course I promised I would, for I was too happy to think of what my parents would say, or indeed of anything except Richard was not at our meeting place as he had arranged.

我的心中除了理查德和他的愛情，什么也顧不上了。 "從那以后，我們就盡可能多地見面，但往往是秘密進行。我們就這樣度過了將近1年時間。

I was disappointed but not alarmed, for so many things could happen to either of us to prevent out keeping our tryst. I thought that next time we visited the Van Ransburgs, I should hear what had kept him and we could plan further meetings…

后來有一天，在他安排的約會處，理查德爽約沒有來。失望之際，我沒有大驚小怪，因為我們倆誰碰到形形色色的事都可能使我們無法幽會。我想我們以后去范·倫斯堡家看望之時，我就會明白理查德未能赴約的原因，再安排以后的約會……

"So when my father asked if I would drive with him to Driefontein I was delighted. But when we reached the homestead and were sitting on the stoep drinking our coffee, we heard that Richard had left quite suddenly and had gone back to England. His father had died, and now he was the heir and must go back to look after his estates.

"所以，當父親問我是否愿意和他一塊開車去德里方丹時，我就高興地答應了。但待我們趕到范·倫斯堡家，坐在他們家屋前的門廊上喝咖啡時，卻聽說理查德已經(jīng)不辭而別回英國去了。他的父親死了，他是繼承人，不得不回去料理遺產。

"I do not remember very much more about that day, except that the sun seemed to have stopped shining and the country no longer looked beautiful and full of promise, but bleak and desolate as it sometimes does in winter or in times of drought.

"那天的事我記不大清楚了，只記得當時陽光慘淡，田野也失去了美麗的豐采和欣欣向榮的景象，蕭瑟凄涼得跟冬天或大旱時一樣。

Late that afternoon, Jantje, the little Hottentot herd boy, came up to me and handed me a letter , which he said the English baas had left for me.

那天傍晚，在我和父親動身回家之前，霍但托特族的小牧童詹杰交給我一封信，他說是那位英國老爺留給我的。

It was the only love letter I ever received, but it turned all my bitterness and grief into a peacefulness which was the nearest I could get, then, to happiness.

這可是我有生以來收到的唯一的情書！它將我的憂傷一掃而光，使我的心情變得平靜--當時對我來說幾乎類似幸福的平靜。

I knew Richard still loved me, and somehow, as long as I had his letter, I felt that we could never be really parted, even if he were in England and I had to remain on the farm. I have it yet, and though I am an old, tired woman, it still gives me hope and courage."

我知道理查德仍在愛著我。不知怎么回事，有了這封信，我便覺得我們不可能真正分開，哪怕他到了英國、我還留在南非的農場。這封信我至今仍保留著，盡管我已經(jīng)年邁體衰，但它仍能帶給我希望和勇氣。"

"I must have been a wonderful letter, Aunt Stephia,"I said.

"斯蒂菲娜老姑，那封信一定美極了吧，"我說。

The old lady came back from her dreams of that far-off romance."Perhaps," she said, hesitating a little, "perhaps, my dear, you would care to read it ?"

老太太從她那久遠的愛之夢中醒過神來。"也許，"她帶著猶豫的神情說，"也許，親愛的，你想看看那封信吧？"

"I should love to , Aunt Stephia,"I said gently.

"我很想看，斯蒂菲娜老姑，"我輕聲說。

She rose at once and tripped into the house as eagerly as a young girl. When she came back she handed me a letter, faded and yellow with age, the edges of the envelope worn and frayed as though it had been much handled. But when I came to open it I found that the seal was unbroken.

她猛地站起身，奔進屋里，急切得像個小姑娘。她從屋里出來后，遞給我一封信。由于天長日久，那信已經(jīng)褪色發(fā)黃，信封邊已經(jīng)磨損，好像曾被摩挲過好多次。但在取信時，我發(fā)現(xiàn)封口還沒有拆開。

"Open it ,open it,"said Great-aunt Stephia, and her voice was shaking.

"拆開，拆開吧！"斯蒂菲娜老姑聲音顫抖地說。

I broke the seal and read.

我撕開封口，開始念信。

It was not a love letter in the true sense of the word, but pages of the minutest directions of how"my sweetest Phina"was to elude her father's vigilance, creep down to the drift at night and there meet Jantje with a horse which would take her to Smitsdorp.

嚴格說來，它算不上是一封情書，實際是只是幾頁內容詳盡的行動指南。信里稱"我最親愛的菲娜"該怎么擺脫她父親的監(jiān)視，夜里逃出家門，詹杰會在淺灘上牽馬等著她，然后將她馱到史密斯多普

There she was to go to "my true friend, Henry Wilson",who would give her money and make arrangements for her to follow her lover to Cape Town and from there to England ," where, my love, we can he be married at once.

到了那里再去找理查德的"知心朋友亨利·威爾遜"，他會給她錢為她作好安排，使她能跟隨她的情人到開普敦，隨后轉道英國。"親愛的，這樣我們就可以在英國結婚了。

But if, my dearest, you are not sure that you can face lift with me in a land strange to you, then do not take this important step, for I love you too much to wish you the smallest unhappiness.

但是我的至愛，如果你不能保證你能在一個陌生的地方和我一塊生活，你就不必采取這個重大行動，因為我太愛你了，不能讓你感到絲毫不快。

If you do not come, and if I do not hear from you, then I shall know that you could never be happy so far from the people and the country which you love.

如果你不來，如果我聽不到你的回信，我就會知道，如果你離開你摯愛的親人和鄉(xiāng)土，你是不會幸福的。

If, however, you feel you can keep your promise to me, but are of too timid and modest a journey to England unaccompanied, then write to me, and I will, by some means, return to fetch my bride."

但如果你能實踐你對我的許諾而由于你生性持重膽怯不愿單身前往英國，就來信告訴我，那我就會設法回南非來迎接我的新娘。"

I read no further.

我沒有再念下去。

"But Aunt Phina!"I gasped. "Why…why…?"

"可是，菲娜老姑，"我氣喘吁吁地說，"為什么……？為什么……"

The old lady was watching me with trembling eagerness, her face flushed and her eyes bright with expectation."Read it aloud, my dear,"she said."I want to hear every word of it. There was never anyone I could trust…Uitlanders were hated in my young days…I could not ask anyone."

老太太的身子由于渴望知道信的內容而顫抖，她的眼睛炯炯有神地凝視著我，臉龐因急切的期待一片緋紅。"親愛的，大聲念吧！"她說，"信里的一字一句，我都要聽！當時我找不到可靠的人給我念……我年輕時，'洋人'是被人深惡痛絕的……我找不到人給我念啊！"

"But, Auntie, don't you even know what he wrote?"

"可是老姑，難道你一直不知道信里的事嗎？"

The old lady looked down, troubled and shy like a child who has unwittingly done wrong.

老太太低頭俯視著，像一個無心做錯事的孩子一樣怯生生的，不知說什么才好。

"No, dear," she said, speaking very low."You see, I never learned to read.

"不知道，親愛的，"她用低沉的聲調說，“你知道，我從來沒有念過書啊！”